so much...just because

Update on a scattered life.

What am I doing these days...

Reading: His Dark Trilogy, A New Earth

I'm always up for a good read. I am always being told "you have to read this!" and truly I will try to read it. I like to know what gives other people enlightenment and perhaps share in a truth they are able to find in what they are reading. After seeing The Golden Compass with my good friend Tina, she recommended I read the trilogy. An english teacher at KU and longtime mentor I always pick-up what she recommends. It is a wonderful fantasy series, a bit dark and very pointed in some directions--but the creatures, characters, and places it takes you will challenge your imagination and inspire layers of depth in your dreams. Great reads!!! I'm almost done with the three books, right now on the Amber Spyglass!!!! What a read!!!

Next, a book that has gained in popularity due to Oprah's book club, on my birthday this year my friend Sara gave me A New Earth by Eckhart...very good, broadens the mind, discusses such instinctive and daily things as ego and consciousness, it is worded beautifully, a lot to take in, but a few pages at a time I am finding my way through the evaluation of the human psyche with ease.

Places I would love to visit: Portland Oregon!!!! I want to visit this place I secretly (Well not so secretly) dream of living. Daydreaming of living somewhere with lots of green, close to the ocean, with public transportation and the ease and artistry of a city. WE'll see. Who knows what the future holds.

Things I think about frequently with great concern: ethanol and gas! I'm not a big fan of ethanol, using up recourses we don't think about and of course the consumption of gas is very overwhelming to me. A magazine I subscribe to, GOOD, discusses the usage of fuel in a very graphic way. I have to read one article at a time because it depresses me, but I want to be informed. Life: where am I going? How will I get there? Will my concerns ever be in the light? Will the true me ever come first?

Things I love: Food, sleep, Men, babies, Yoga, Animals, travel, adoption, acting, art, silence, thunderstorms, ringlets, the ocean, bodies of water, truth, reality, honesty, hope, love, romance, passion, color, creating, dancing, singing, sailing, eye lashes, pancakes, hamburgers, potatos, chandeliers, wooded areas, trampolines, window pains, hot coffee, teeter-totters, fitted jeans, houses, clay, fabric and textiles, hugging, cuddling, marriage, movies, reading, dreaming, italian trees, journals, paper, going on walks, human compassion, bamboos, feet, weddings, shoes, clothing, and public transportation .

Turn-ons: tattoos, honesty, confidence, charisma, good manners, easy-goingness, a sense of adventure, open-mindedness, strong stature, good smile, hands, trusting natures

The dream: Living in an environment I'm not at odds with--small unique shops, bakeries, and boutiques, lots of stone, water, and trees. A small home with lots of potential. A balanced, friendly, accepting, artistic, warm, and loving husband who makes me go "grrrr..." haha. Babies, pets, and travel. Gardens, easy weekends, bike-riding, swimming, story-telling, learning, family. Camera's, computers, printers, kiln, wheel, canvas, a patio with bricks, french doors, shear curtains, a deep sofa, a warm fireplace, a nice breeze, herbs in the window, vegis, produce, and whole wheat in the pantry and fridge, oats in my cabinets and berries in the strainer, pie in the oven, a cat at my ankles, Elvis close at hand, a yoga room, staying home, doing odds and ends jobs, simplicity, love, closure, life.

What does it mean: it means I need to start putting myself first. Focus on channeling Ishtar the goddess of boundries, establishing rules to live by that help me to bring art and devotion back into my heart, yoga, meditation, friendship, organization, financial freedom, day-to-day enjoyment, a bike, a couple birds, a cat, and a relaxed nature--trusting that all I want will come if I put myself first. Dignity, integrity and self-respect.