Laugh a little, a lot.

Maybe to sum life up in words, you must turn to words that are elicit of emotion in order to find definition. Maybe a definition is impossible, and certainly life is full of grief, suffering, and weariness; but it is also full of hope and when the outcome is good it makes a person all the better for having grieved, suffered, and worn on to get to the point in time where laughter is possible.

In the last three months I have had incredible stresses. The economy is collapsing around me and even with the hope of things to come of the incredible Obama-nation that is about to take place, lol, I am weary of fighting so hard just to make things happen. Perhaps if I get organized--which I have tried before--but never followed through on, perhaps if I had a partner in crime--now that is something that is new to me. I am getting organized. First I got organized on my own. I realized I did not need another person to make me complete. I did need another person to have children with, for marriage and family and all those things I know that I want...but I didn't need another person to fulfill my personal requirements now. That was up to me.

Then it hit me. I was happy! I was self-contained. A lone spirit on an open path, coveting the freedom and thrilled by the fear of the unknown. I did not need another person to complete me and that fact alone made me bigger, bolder, more blazon a person than I knew I could be. I shed some of the guilt that had plagued me, weighed me down for the last few years. I breathed deeper, felt contented, and knew that no matter how slow the weary crawl may be--I could do it on my own and I would be OK.

Now I've met someone. I didn't go looking for this person. He wasn't looking for me. We were both on an independent path that neither person feared. With all the completion I was feeling--this person made me feel complete in a different way.

Then it happened, With all the sorrow, grief, and wariness I had suffered in years past. With all the seriousness I had worked so hard to shed...I suddenly found myself laughing. Big rolling, gleeful, and unmasked laughter! Every day. Even at my expense, laughter seemed so much easier and appropriate suddenly.

Now, the economy hasn't improved yet, and getting organized is absolutely necessary and maybe I do have a partner in crime--finally! But even after a stressful and taxing week this morning when I woke--the devil was out getting coffee--because I couldn't stop smiling, I couldn't stop thanking the world for my world. At 6 in the morning, forced out of bed in the cold, I was laughing.